The Difference

Do you ever have those moments when you are so frustrated you just want to walk away and never look back? 

Most people experience this at some point, some experience it often.  It can be the boss that just doesn't get reality, the kids that just won't listen, the family member that always picks a fight, or any number of things that we allow to get under our skin.

I had one of those moments recently and I did walk away. . . sort of.  I took a long walk.  I needed to remove myself from the situation and just be outside.  While I was walking I was thinking about ways to fix the situation.  As I watched the leaves blowing around on the trees, The Serenity Prayer popped into my head.  There are many versions of this prayer floating around, but my version of it went like this:

Help me find the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.  

I realized that knowing the difference was the key.

The moment that I realized the situation was not something I could control, I was able to move into acceptance and the frustration vanished (well, maybe vanished is a strong word, but it was close to that).

There is always something you can change, but many times the only thing you control is your reaction to the situation.  Taking a few seconds to allow yourself to recognize that fact and actively change your reaction is what makes the difference.  Accepting a situation does not mean that you agree with it or think it is OK, but it allows you to let go of trying to change it when you can't, which is where my frustration was coming from.

I also realized that the prayer was too passive.  I needed to affirm that this state of being was always there and not look to some external force to deliver it to me.  So, I rewrote the prayer as an affirmation:

I have the wisdom to know the difference between the things I can and cannot change.  I have the courage to change the things I can and the serenity to accept the things I cannot.

 I know that I will still have times of frustration, but my hope is by reciting the affirmation I will accept the reality of a situation faster and have more serenity in my life. 

I think the world would be a much better place if all of us found a little more serenity in our lives.