Choose Your Own Adventure

I remember as a child (and maybe once or twice as an adult) reading the Choose Your Own Adventure books.  The ones I liked best always started with the protagonist in an ordinary type of situation, such as playing hide and seek in a field filled with tall grass and large boulders.  Inevitably, a few short pages into the story, he would round a corner and come across the opening to a long forgotten cave, and the bottom of the page would say:

If you choose to enter the cave, turn to page 23.

If you choose to go back to your friends, turn to page 98.

As a kid, I always chose the adventure (of course, I also peeked at the other choice).  The same was true in life.  When faced with a choice of direction I always took the one that was fun, new and usually had the highest chance of getting me in some sort of trouble.  I just didn't worry about that, it was all about the possibilities ahead of me.

Some where along the my life's path I stopped choosing the adventure.  I know some of that just comes with age and the need to have a paycheck.  The rest of it . . .is fear.  Fear of the looking silly, fear of getting hurt (physically and emotionally), fear of failure and many others.  Getting past that fear has taken time, and is still work in progress.  Every now and then it creeps back in and I let go of the adventure (look how any times I have started and stopped this blog).

Eighteen months ago I chose adventure, I went back to school. This week I completed my MBA.  It took a lot of courage and dedication to pursue this goal.  I did it with the hope of furthering my business ambitions, but the unexpected outcome, the one that means more to me, is rediscovering how much I love to write. . . about anything.

I didn't mind writing ten page papers about analyzing corporate financial statements.  In fact, I found it fun.  It wasn't the subject matter that was fun, it was crafting the paper, wordsmithing it into its best possible form and presenting the final product.  I never worried about the part of the grade based on mechanics and flow, I knew I had it right.  Even in the ridged rules of APA formatting, I found a way to play with structure.  I found my passion again.

There will always be critics (some of them may even be right once and a while).  I am not writing for them, I am writing for me and the adventure it brings.

I am now ready to turn to page 23 . . . what page will you turn to?

Reframing a Picture

Have you ever been at an antique store or a thrift shop and noticed an old picture leaning against a collection of long forgotten objects?  You look at it and think, "Hmmm, it's interesting, but wow is that an ugly frame." You contemplate it for a few more moments and walk on, shaking your head thinking about that horrible frame.

What if instead of walking way you picked it up and took it out of the frame.  Would this change your feelings about picture?

It's amazing how the framing of a picture can change your perception of it.

Like the picture, the same is true for how we frame our thoughts and experiences in life.  Our initial reaction does not have to become the permanent frame for our reality.  We have the ability to re-frame the experience by changing how we think about it.  Some people call it looking for the silver lining, and others may call people who are adept at the process a Pollyanna. I like to think of it as saving myself a lot of undesired stress.

I'm not saying this is always an easy thing or that you should ignore the reality of the situation. However, re-framing your thoughts, even for a little while, gives you a better emotional place to start dealing with some of life's bigger issues. If it's not a big issue, then re-framing can move you past the situation a little faster. It is especially helpful in those times when you have little or no control over the outcomes.

So the next time you find yourself stressed, upset or unhinged about a situation, take a step back, look at the frame you've put around it and instead of walking away, ditch the frame to change the picture.